On Making Choices

The idea of choices, of making decisions, has been on my mind a lot lately.  Probably what with my quick job switch, and taking such a pay cut.  So often I hear people say things like “I have no choice!” or “They left me no choice!” or “I can only do this one thing, what do I do!?” And this is very much not the case.  We always, always have a choice.

Free will really is the most powerful gift that we have, as human beings.  Banishing the very limiting idea of “I have no choice in this” has really allowed me to see the true options that I have.  But along with that, it’s just quite simply provided me with a more open mind. It’s also opened me to more creativity in my life, my spirituality and witchcraft and it’s simply opened me to to having more options with my life in general (such as cooking, redecorating, etc).

By having a consistent mindset of “I only have this one choice!” or “I can only do this or that!” we are basically living with blinders on.  We habitually only see these on or two options and so it doesn’t even occur to us to look around the corner, or try option 3, or simply to wait and see if another option shows itself.

I’m going to give a fairly extreme example here, but it will allow me to be clear with my point here.  

Okay, so let’s say you are kidnapped.  You’ve been roughed up but nothing major has been done aside from you being tide up and sitting on a chair.  There’s someone else kidnapped in front of you.  So, the kidnapper puts the gun to your head, and tells you to do something abhorrent, awful to the other kidnap victim.  So, in order to save yourself you do it right?  There’s no other choice!!  Or, maybe you’re saying, Oh no!  I can’t hurt another person!  There’s no choice I must die! Right?  No.  Absolutely not.  Let me break this down.

• Choice: Let the person shoot you.  This is a valid, actual choice that you can make.
• Choice: Do what they want you to do to the other person.  This is also a valid, actual choice you can make.
• Choice: For all we know you’re fully trained in krav maga and can escape, rescue the other person and kick the butt of the kidnapper.  This is also a valid, actual choice.
• Choice: Aha! There’s another!  If you allow yourself to keep an open mind, maybe you can appeal to your kidnapper’s partner (if they have one) or maybe your presence can/will encourage the other victim and they will fight back.  
• Choice: There’s always another choice, you just need to find it.

Now, obviously, we can’t just have a pre-drafted list of choices for every scenario.  Everyone is different, every scenario is different, all the other people involved in the scenario are different, etc etc.  The thing is to simply keep your mind open and realize that even if a choice is absolutely abhorrent to you and is so outside of your moral compass that you are unable in any way to do it, it is still a choice and it is still a valid one.  It’s simply that you are unable or unwilling to accept the consequences.  That does not mean that the choice is not there; by your recognition of the option not being right for you you are choosing to not go with it.  See?  Choice.  Do not limit yourself, keep looking, keep asking questions, keep seeking options, looking around the corner, under the lid, outside of the box or even in the box!  Do not limit yourself because you are, at first, unable to see another option.  It’s there; you just haven’t found it yet.