Been a while....

 So yea it's been a long time, huh.  I've decided to change this into just a regular blog.  I've always loved blogging but haven't been for a long, long time.  Especially just regular day-to-day blogging.  It's something that's always helped my anxiety and state of mind and that's something I really need right now.

My anxiety is so bad and apparently my depression is really bad too.  I've been going full boar at work for so long now; went probably 4 months without an actual day off from work, and considering how bad my fibro has gotten that's just not good.

Anyway so I'm finally getting a day off work here and there, so that's letting me begin to rest up and take more objective views of things. And one of the things I'm coming to realize is that I cannot work for much longer.  Before I was thinking that I'd like to quit working within 5 years.  Well...I've had to come to accept that on the good side I'd like to be done next year (2018) and on the bad side the next one (2019).  So I have a lot of small goals that I'm trying to figure out and list out and get some sort of order of priority on them.

The first thing I had already been doing was prioritizing paying off my credit cards.  I am not comfortable quitting working with balances on my cards.  So I've got a plan for that, or at least the beginnings of a plan.  So that's good.  We've also set up a savings account, so I'm gonna start having part of my paychecks deposited into the savings account and I think I'm gonna increase the extra amount I have taken out in taxes so my return next year is bigger.  I figure if I *am* able to quit working next year, that can be a big help for the time I'm not working while I'm waiting for SSI.

So that's going on sort of in the background.  Something that always is rough on me is when my shit is all over the place.  As I am me I have a lot of things and we have a weird level of storage in our apartment, we have a lot for things like linens and cleaning supplies, but the closets are tiny, teeny tiny and I just don't have a lot of storage like wall shelves and/or book shelves.

Additionally I recently have come to terms with my gender identity and so I'm getting a lot more clothes, accessories and such.  So, I've slowly started working on organizing my stuff, starting with a closet storage thingy for my hair shit.  (It's funny, realizing I'm agender has made me more comfortable being girly.  But I love not being girly just as much.  Especially since there's less upkeep LOL)

Furthermore I intend to go through all of my stuff and clean it out.  I'm sure some will go in the garbage, some will definitely be presents and others hopefully will be better displayed and kept safer and cleaner.  This will require me purchasing a couple new bookshelves and a couple new wall shelves, better make up storage and a couple more jewelry boxes.  But that's all okay!

So that's that for now.  I'm really going to try hard to keep this blog up.  It feels good regularly blogging again (though "again" means just this once for right now) so I really hope to keep doing this.