A lot of people who are pro-cursing recognize a difference between cursing, hexing and binding. Some even throw in a fourth category of "bad/evil/black/negative spells." I think that's a bit much. I will tackle binding someplace in this post, but I do not know enough about hexing to speak about it, as to my understanding hexing is part of the Voodoun spiritual/religious path and/or the Pennsylvania Dutch. I do not know enough about that path to speak about it. So for the purpose of this post I will speak about modern pagan curses.
So let's get down to the nitty gritty then shall we?
What is a curse?
A curse has traditionally been seen as a "black spell" or something that hurts someone. Given that there are people in every single walk of life who wish to do harm, or who don't care if they do harm, there are those who practice witchcraft who sling curses with this purpose.
However, like in every other walk of life, these people are the minority and do not represent, in any way, the rest of the witchcraft and/or pagan community. For the majority of us that are pro-cursing a curse is seen as a spell directed directly at one person for the purpose of retribution/dharma (often wrongly stated as karma) and/or protection and/or binding. (More on binding later.)*Note: I have no idea why the above is formatted so weird. I've tried everything save re-writing the whole post. So... deal. lol
But won't intentionally causing harm cause you harm? I mean, Rule of Three and all!!
Okay. I understand this... but.... well. First things first. The Rule of Three comes from the Wiccan Rede. While the Rede is a lovely and beautiful poem, it is the *Wiccan* rede and I and thousands of others are not Wiccan. You don't see those of the Buddhist faith following the 10 Commandments. Why? Because they are Buddhist, not Christian. You don't see those who follow the Hindu faith following the tenets of Mohammad. Why? They are not Muslim. The thousands of us who are not Wiccan do not follow the Wicccan Rede...because...we are not Wiccan.
Now. That's not to say you can't get backlash or whiplash from curse slinging. I mean, if you're slinging curses at every Joe Blow who gets under your skin...well. You're just a complete jackass who deserves the bad dharma you're working up. And you deserve whatever other backlash the Universe decides to give you.
In my opinion the key here is not overdoing it. If someone does something that causes you to feel they deserve to be cursed, then keeping things even is good. If someone (gods forbid!) kicks your dog..burning down their house is overkill. Breaking their toe, however, is a little more equal.
Also -- and this is important. Even a healing spell can cause harm. Gasp and shock healing is always positive, right!?!? No, no it's not. Let's consider Auntie Marggie's years long battle with cancer. She's on her last legs, her body is wilted and she's racked with pain and on her last legs. They don't expect Auntie Marggie to last past the end of the week. So, in desperation you and your friends cast the most powerful healing spell you know to give Auntie Marggie more time. To strengthen her body. Good intentions right? YUP! Only using positive things, using only light, using healing. Only good right?? NOPE! Why? Because Auntie Marggie's body is riddled with cancer and pain. Forcing her (against her will; because did you even ask Auntie Marggie if she wanted more time?) to live longer when it's possible she's made peace with her passing and is ready for the next journey in her life is bad. Also, given the ravaged state of her body it's entirely plausible that you are simply forcing her to live longer in great pain and suffering. In this situation, it's best to talk to Auntie Marggie. Perhaps she's rather have a spell to speed her passing.
But what if someone curses me??!!!
I have frequently heard that if you don't deserve it it won't stick. And to be honest, for the most part I believe this. However, there are some nasty mofo's out there and they will pile enough shit into their curse to make it stick no matter what. And as this is not really a how-to blog, I'm not getting into it. If you truly feel that someone has cursed you, re-do all of your protections, do some major-ass cleansing and banishing (both magical and mundane! People always forget the mundane cleaning) and then...do it all over again. If that doesn't work, contact a trusted, more experienced witch to help you.
So in what situations do you actually throw a curse anyway?
This is something extremely personal. For some it's only in the most extreme of situations such as rape, molestation, abuse, burglary, etc. For others it's those situations and others such as a situation where a "bad"neighbor won't let you have peace or security in your home (eg - always throwing raucous parties, littering which leads to infestations, etc), co-workers or other students who are rumor mongering, etc. For a few it's even situations like the neighbor who always takes your newspaper or the guy who parks in your parking spot.
Like I said, it's really, really personal. And it comes down to your own personal moral values and which situations fit into those values and which don't. For the most part I will curse within the first two sets of scenarios. I have cursed neighbors, but only in the most extreme set of situations in which our personal peace and safety was repeatedly breached and all of the mundane things were were doing weren't working.
Now, here's the important part here. As with all magic you should never, ever immediately go to cursing. Now if the situation is extreme and dire (eg - abuse, super risk such as someone in the military shipping off to a war zone...granted that wouldn't be a curse...but you get my point I hope!) you do your magic after, or along side mundane things! So in the situation of abuse you turn that mother fucker in to the police, you cooperate with them to the best of your ability, and you curse that fucker. And this is a good spot to illustrate where you need to include your own personal moral code. For me, I'm doing to curse that fucker to get caught, get arrested, charged, go to trial and found guilty as shit and given the most sever legal punishment possible. But, *for me* I am also going to curse him to become the cell block bitch, because that is within my personal moral code. For many however it is not, so the curse will end with him/her getting sent to prison.
But what if I curse the wrong person??
Okay. So... if you don't even know WHO you are needing to curse.... you shouldn't be cursing in the first place. Secondly.... if you are that unsure of your magical ability....*sighs* It's my personal belief that if you are that insecure in your ability you shouldn't be doing magic and the reason for that is because our mental state affects our magic, so if you are unsure, your magic will be unsure and probably not work.
Now, as for not knowing the right person...if you truly have no idea? You probably shouldn't curse. However, if you simply don't know their name, then it's a matter of "The person who was on x street at 10:15pm, who was wearing this clothes and smelled like this and had calloused hands and was wearing black Nike tennis shoes..." and so on and so forth. You make it as specific as fucking possible. The Universe (or god, or goddess, or whomever) will now who you are talking about.
So... what do you curse them for! Death? Pestilence? Bad luck?
Again, like all magic it's personal. Everyone has their limits but in my experience most people curse people to simply reap the rewards of their misdeeds. So, many will do a mirror spell/curse so whatever negative thing the person tries to do will reflect back upon them (Many will do a times three thing here; that along with all else, is up to you). If it's a legal thing such as your abuser/rapist was caught you could do a justice spell so they are found guilty (Yes, many see this as a curse...I totally don't.). You'll find a lot of curses online along the lines of "curse my loud neighbors to have heartburn whenever they're loud" or "curse the rumor mongers to have burning tongues when they lie" and things along these lines. It's my personal belief that curses like this run no risk for any sort of negative backlash/dharma because they are contingent upon the person consciously/intentionally doing the bad thing. Now, if you are cursing them so they will do the bad thing so they'll feel that bad thing...then you are absolutely, unequivocally in the wrong.
The long and short of it is...
Intent -- it's all in your intent, as is all magic. If your intent is to simply hurt someone then you are a bad person. If your intent is for someone to learn from their mistakes, to stop doing the bad thing, to get the justice they deserve, to protect, etc then that's different and I feel you are in the right to cast your spell, so long as you are doing everything you can in the mundane realm as well.
Also, while it's always important to the n-th degree to be as specific as possible when casting a spell, when you're curse slinging it's even more important. You want to be unbelievably specific, even to the point of redundancy. You never know a person's living situation so if you say "the people in apartment 517" you could be including an innocent child, an unborn little one, the roommate who has no idea, the uncle who lost his house and is crashing on the couch for the week...you get the picture. You also need to be just as specific with the spell itself. "And so Bob's tongue shall burn for 10 minutes for every lie he intentionally or knowingly says to another human being." Or whatever.
But those people who do the little bad things....those things add up and really show they don't care about others!!
You are absolutely right. As with the rest of this post and this blog, it's my personal opinion that this is where casual curses come in. Most actual curse spells are pretty serious things, calling in deities, correspondences, timing, ingredients, etc to make a true, effective magical working. However, you can sling a casual curse which is on the same level as the newspaper or parking spot stealers, or that asshole who always slams his door. Something like "I hope your milk goes bad within one day of buying it!" or .... "I hope you stub your toe twice today!" These are all small things, which can add up, but not to the severity of something a rapist deserves.
I really want to do something...but I just don't know what. OR I'm too nervous to ask for something specific but I still want to do something!
Gods do I understand that feeling... that was the feeling I had when I slung my first curse. And honestly, while you must (I believe) always, always be uber, super-dooper specific in your target, in this case... do not be specific in the result beyond "Gets what s/he/they deserve!" Simpy petition the Universe or God or whomever to deliver the righteous punishment they deserve. This is my version of "Giving it to God/dess" to mete out whatever punishment They feel the offender deserves.
For me this is sort of my .... safety net backup plan. If I am in a situation where I feel something, anything has to be done but I am too emotional to think clearly on it, I will do a spell with this intent and just "give it" to the Universe. It's like a petition. "So and so has done this thing and this thing is awful and horrible and they need to be taken care of and it is not apparent that anyone else has done anything so please do something!!!" This way I have satisfied my need for punish/retribution/whatever but I have not allowed my emotions to sway me and gone overboard.
Binding
AAaaahhhhh binding....I remember one of the first books I ever read on paganism/witchcraft had this section on binding and it said that binding was the worst kind of cursing and should never, ever be used unless someone's life was in danger but the caster needed to look out for dharmic backlash and blah blah blah... and I was so confused because in my young mind at the time (I was 15) I was thinking of all the times I could have bound someone's awful actions ( in my childhood I had emotional and verbal abuse from several sources as well as almost extreme bullying) and protected not only myself but others as well. I remember thinking to myself "Well of course you don't bind all their actions only the dangerous ones!"
At any rate, that really is the extent of binding. You bind someone's actions. And here is where we get into intent and specifics again. Your intent is protection and your specifics are only the very specific harmful/dangerous behaviors. And please keep in mind: Yes, you can bind someone from harming themselves, and yes you can bind yourself! Both intentionally and unintentionally. Last year I had the unpleasant realization that with years of needlessly forced strong inhibitions I had unintentionally bound myself which had caused me great harm. I am still trying to fully undo the binding. Whoops.
There are a lot of ways to go about binding; basically think of anything that stops movement; freezing, gluing, tying, etc. But again: You must only bind that one specific behavior!
So...do I really have to call a ... gasp... dark deity for this!?!?
So... first things first...not all that is dark is bad/negative...just as not all that is light is good/positive. You can get super burnt from the sun (light) and you can get super relief from the dark (headaches/migraines). First and foremost you must, you need, to let go of this silly, limited mindset. Secondly, as with all magic you can call upon whomever you want. Call upon whomever is knocking at your door at the time. You can even simply call upon one specific element or one specific plant energies (Such as nettles if you are wanting to poke them or something.) or whatever is calling to you. Be creative!!
And a few last notes:
- I always, always wait at least one day from the incident to do my curse. This way, I have had time to engage in some coping mechanisms and ensure that my mind is at least somewhat clear from the fog and fire of righteous anger.
- Mars, by Gustav Holst is amazing fucking cursing music.
- You may never, ever see the results of your curse. This is normal because.. well... for the most part most of us are not in the day-to-day life of the recipient. Also, keep in mind that you are biased against this person. Therefore even if they are improving in their behavior (let's say loud neighbors or rumor-mongers) you are pre-programmed to see the negative behavior, not the positive. Also, in the end it's not for you to say when something should happen that's up to the Universe.
- Should you do more than one spell? Only in the most extreme of circumstances such as a persons life is in danger, they are repeatedly abused and are having difficulty getting out of the situation, etc.
- Will I write a curse for you? NOPE! But I *will* talk you through one. Contact me privately.
***As always I welcome any and all comments, questions, etc. If it's warranted I will edit my posts!! Feel free to comment on the post itself and/or contact me through the contact form!!***
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