So .... Especially since I took over my store in Oct '17, in many ways I've felt like a phony. Less because I'm a bad manager (I'm actually a really good one) and more because I am like, the most disorganized person on the planet. Ever. From all of time.
I organize via piles. And depending on the week piles of piles. I have become extremely good at moving piles, sliding one pile over so I can begin another. Getting small boxes so I can box up my piles and protect them. Seriously, especially at work my piles are organized by importance, whether or not it's for my eyes only.... well. You get the picture.
I used to be this way at home too, but I've started getting a lot better about it. There's actually quite a lot of research showing that clutter can directly affect stress, anxiety, depression and so forth. My ex mother-in-law is a genuine hoarder and when I lived with them we would literally have to walk down the hallways sideways, because there were boxes and bags of stuff lining both sides of basically every wall. It was so horrible and it only kept getting worse as she would add to the "collections" any time she could.
I really grew to hate clutter, but I personally had a lot of stuff, especially books. Eventually I got rid of a ton of my books and I've been very good about keeping my book collection down, although now I'm regretting getting rid of some of them LOL There's several Little Free Libraries around town so that's where I take my books now, if I no longer want them.
At any rate, I am very, very good at rationalization so for many years thanks to that, my anxiety (which I didn't know was as bad as it is) and my dysthymia (prolonged depression, which I didn't even know I had) getting rid of stuff was next to impossible. When I got my promotion to Assistant Manager in '16 I started trying to get organized... I tried planners and stickers and reminders and boxes and cleaning and re-organizing stuff....
At that time I did get rid of quite a bit of stuff but it barely made a dent, so I simply upgraded to bigger dressers and stuff.... So my that point I had started reading blogs and watching youtube and stuff trying to get inspiration to find creative ideas that would work with me. I wasn't able to succeed much until now.
Over the last couple of years I've done a lot of research/reading/inspo gathering/etc on subjects from organization to cleaning to self care and I've learned that I lack(ed) almost all aspects of actual self care. And while "self care" really has become a massive, almost annoying, buzz word, it is still extremely important. One of the areas I have always lacked the most in has been housework which is where the problem of clutter and disorganization comes in.
Since I took over my store we moved and I have my own bedroom. So to help keep my clutter away from being in my boyfriend's way I've just put all my stuff (mostly) in my room. And there were days I literally only had a path from the door to my bed. I hated it and sometimes I hated being in my bedroom, which should not at all be the way things are.
So I randomly started cleaning out a few months ago. Well. More than that... sometime last year. And I was able to get rid of So Much Shit. Clothes I wasn't wearing, actual garbage, items I don't use/enjoy/etc. I've donated 4 full rubbermaid tubs and thrown out probably just as many bags of garbage of broken/stained/etc stuff. Not to mention the dozens and dozens of books I've taken to the Little Free Libraries.
A few weeks ago I finally started going through old stuff and now that I'm finally actually actively seeing a difference in my bedroom it feels so good. I'm also rearranging my bedroom so things are in better places and things are more effective for me. I'm going to go through things again, things I have left that I was wishy-washy on, that I don't use or like or whatever. It's still so hard for me to get rid of certain things though because they were gifts or whatever. However I already have done that with a lot of items and the clearing out of my personal space literally feels like it's a weight off my shoulders, I'm thinking clearer and so forth. I can't wait 'till I finish my bedroom so I can go after the rest of my belongings. I have quite a pile on my desk and lemme tell ya ... I really want to use my desk LOL Plus with my boyfriend's personality disorder and depression and anxiety my clutter really, really affects him negatively and I don't want that anymore. Not that I ever did in the beginning but now that I'm improving myself and my space I can actually be actionable about it.
But anyway. I think that's it for now on this subject ...
No comments:
Post a Comment