A long, long time....

So.  It's been a while, huh.  A long while I guess.  I checked the date of my last post and it's been 2 1/2 years since I posted here, holy shit! O_O I can't believe it's been that long.

I've gotten promoted at work since then, so I manage my own store now and that's been a huge, huge thing.  I've been doing so much work on myself. 

I've not continued planning like I wanted to, which really disappoints me but I realized that I had so much other disorganization in my life, professionally and personally that it didn't matter what kind of planner I used it would never have worked. 

So I started seeing a psychologist and she's freaking amazing.  Well... even further back a bit it began with me finding a musical group who's music and lyrics really resonated with me.  And still do. 

So once BTS were in my life they, through their music and example, helped me see that I deserved better than I was giving myself.  It's still tough and I still struggle but one day at a time things are improving.  Hell I've even lost some weight!

Through my therapy sessions I've begun to understand why I feel the way I do about things, why I react in certain ways, etc.  Honestly when I was diagnosed with PTSD it kind of made me feel better about certain things, maybe that I'm justified in some of my reactions.  That I'm not just crazy or overemotional or whatever, that there's a genuine true reason.  Honestly I think that's one of the biggest things lately that's helped.

Beyond that I've started journaling like mad.  I have so many journals now; a couple for specific topics and a couple not, and putting all of those things on paper feels like it's a combination of ... "bleeding the wound" so to say, venting, actually admitting things and organizing thoughts and that helps me feel so much better too.  So much better I just can't even ...

I think that's it for now.  It feels good to get back to this.  No guarantee how frequently I'll post but, I'm so glad it's an option again :D